I have begun to mentally collect serendipitous quotations which I have recently overhead. They typically stand out from the bustle of the everyday because they are so apt, or clever, or randomly funny. I want to put them down here in this blog, to catalog these nuggets of wisdom and hilarity. They are too good to be forgotten.

1) “We are your parents, not your cruise directors.” I read this little gem on my friends’ Laura and Brandon’s blog. It is so succinct and yet also so seriously true. I want to high-five Brandon for being awesome enough to say it.

2) “Soda lives in garages.” My spunky three-year-old nephew Oliver made this observation recently to his mom. You really have to hand it to him for noticing and articulating something that is universally true in the households of my parents and sisters. He saw a commonality in the storage of one of life’s little gifts (that’s right–you need not send me your online articles about the negative side effects of soda, blah blah blah), and he pointed it out, as only a sassy preschooler can.

3) “WHY DO ARMIES HAVE GUNS?!” This question, bellowed loudly at my sister’s iPhone is directed at SIRI. Once again, Oliver is asking the questions. He asks SIRI this all the time, but SIRI just can’t seem to decipher kid-lingo, and inevitably responds with an “I can’t figure out what the heck you are talking about” type of response. Fortunately for the rest of us, Oliver keeps asking.

4) “All hat, no cattle.” Jeff favors this cheeky saying, which is useful to describe a certain type of individual–one with much bravado but little in the way of actual, shall we say, beef.

5) “Jack, say ‘apple.'” Charlie says this to Jack whenever he is trying to engage Jack in conversation. While he isn’t much of a conversationalist, Jack is reliably generous about sharing with us the handful of words which he can say. These include: apple (obviously), Mom (sigh of great happiness), choo choo, more, out, chips, Coke (that’s my boy!), and “Oh No!” He usually says the last phrase on the list with great volume and gusto during therapy when he finds a request by the therapist to be unreasonable. I recently had a dream where Jack was sitting at the table, when he suddenly spoke up, saying with perfect enunciation, “No, I don’t want to do that.” I think it makes sense. If you can’t say much, probably one of the most useful things you could learn to verbalize would be a “no thanks, and please leave me alone” kind of a sentence.

6) “Truman’s hands are the size of the Grinch’s heart before it grew three sizes.” My four-year-old neighbor made this delightful comparison last December when looking at my tiny newborn.

7) “Is this real, or is only happening in my head?”
“Of course it’s happening in your head, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t real.”
This exchange will be recognizable to many as Harry Potter talking with Dumbledore in a dreamlike setting which looks like King’s Cross Station in a perfected state. I love it. I find this quotation is applicable to many situations. One can’t help but feel reassured by this validating bit of wisdom, emboldened by the gravitas of Dumbledore.

Please share with me YOUR “found poetry” of overheard sayings which delight in their humor, truth, or eccentricity. Comments, please.

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