There is this annoying quote that keeps popping up in my Twitter feed. It says something like, “If you hate them in the morning and adore them in the evening, you’ve got yourself a family.”
Whoever said this got it backwards. It is just dead wrong. When I wake up from a respectable night’s sleep on a bright sunny morning, I love my people. The day is fresh. My mood is light. We can do this, folks! You are my beloved babies and I am your Rosie the Riveter!
But after twelve hours of tantrums, vacuum destruction, Code Browns, plus the ever-replenishing laundry/dishes/messes, I don’t find them charming. I find them irritating.
See what I did there? I just admitted that I am annoyed by my children, pretty much at the end of every day. Scandalous, but honest. I’m surrounded by people who need help, things that need doing, and isn’t it bedtime yet? I’m just one woman, for Pete’s sake! A woman who could really use some adorable minions or helpful cleaning fairies!
If I were writing inspirational quotes and circulating them on various social media, they might read more like this: “If you joyfully kiss their rosy little pudge faces in the morning but want to drop them off at a remote desert location to fend for themselves in the evening, you’ve got yourself a family.”
Or this: “If you brought them into the world with love and tenderness, but now are filled with boiling fury over their apparent inability to leave a room unshredded, you’ve got yourself some kids.”
Another possibility: “If you thought parenting was going to look like a Pottery Barn magazine spread, but find that it more accurately resembles Chuck E Cheese on a two-for-one Saturday coupon day, you might be a befuddled mother.”
This could be why no one is asking me to write inspirational quotes to circulate on the Internet.