I’ve been too much of a Negative Nancy of late.
I’m going to stay crabby (briefly) and blame the unwanted virus that has wiped me out for a solid week. Perhaps I shall speak directly to the disease.
Dear Horrible Stinky Virus,
I don’t like you. Here’s why:
You have made parenting especially hard for me recently.
You have no regard for a person’s need to SLEEP through the night.
Thanks to you, I lack the energy to get the laundry done or the floors clean. We live in filth. Gracias.
Because of you, I learned all about severe dehydration. I now know that when I can’t keep any fluids down for a few days, I also lack the strength to get up off the bathroom floor after…..purging.
You taught me that standing and walking don’t work for dehydrated people, and that the room will spin. Oh yes, the room will spin.
You schooled me in paying a visit to the ER, where I was poked and jabbed NINE times (NINE TIMES, Mrs. Beuhler?) including on both sides of my neck (which is very vampirish in a not romantic sort of way) while looking for a vein in which to start an IV.
I now know the thrill of tossing my cookies into a baggie while sitting in a hospital bed which is surrounded by a doctor, two nurses, my husband, and two of my children. So. Very. Glamorous.
Under your tutelage, I honestly began to appreciate water. Plain, glorious H2O. It makes a person feel human. It’s a simple pleasure. Life sustaining, really.
But please don’t come back again anytime soon, Virus.
I’ll move past the crabbiness. Probably.
Tonight I slurped homemade chicken noodle soup delivered to my doorstep by my friend Chris. Manna!
This morning my toddler contentedly sat next to me on the couch watching Bubble Guppies all morning as I dozed off. Thank you Littlest. You are momma’s helper.
After dinner, Dutch cleaned the very messy kitchen. He even wheeled out the shop-vac and suctioned up the garden of discarded food beneath Jack’s seat at the table. Yay, Dutch!
I think I will survive.