This Christmas Break will forever be known as the One Where Jack Had Gianatti-Crosti Syndrome (And Not the Chicken Pox).

Since almost no one ever gets this rare disease, I’ll tell you that it’s a condition that can happen secondarily, following a previous infection. Jack had strep a month ago, so bingo. It’s not contagious. It makes your skin look horrifying and feel itchy and awful. There is nothing you can do to effectively treat it. It can last up to two months.

Poor Jack is going to school tomorrow looking like a leper.

But at least, for both our fragile mental states, he is going to school.

I could also remember this as The Christmas Holiday When Jack Sprinkled Swiss Miss Cocoa in Any and All Heat Vents, and Atop Most Electronic Devices in the House. (This, btw, is simply one of many¬†valid reasons we can’t have nice things.)

It could go down in the annals as The Christmas We Were Quarantined But Didn’t Actually Have to Be.

Or, The Christmas When Jack Took Up Code Browns Again.

Or, The One When All the New Christmas Toys Were Launched into the Mulch Pile Within 48 Hours.

Or, The Christmas When Jack Crammed Wooden Puzzle Pieces, Candy Wrappers, and Shoe Laces into the Louvres Above the Gas Fire Place and Made the Entire House Reek of Melting Plastic and Scorched Playthings.

Lucky for me, it’s now simply known as Christmas Past.

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