When I beseeched you in my car that rainy night while rounding the Point of the Mountain, I had hit a wall. The kind of wall I’ve scaled a hundred times before, but after these ten years of special-needs parenting, I couldn’t climb it.
I knew you were listening. So I decided to stop with the delicate, white bread sort of praying and get serious.
Because I know you are there and I know that you love me, I raised my voice at you and told you that we are at a point of emptiness with the challenges of our children.
The relentless demands of the last decade have taught us many things. They have also brought us to this worn out place.
And so I prayed and said it is time for you to step in, which as you know, I have never before demanded.
The remarkable thing is that you did step in.
Shortly after my loud, earnest supplication, things started changing. You set them in motion.
We found the right medication at the right dose and our son’s behavior improved dramatically.
The state called, saying our son is coming off the wait list for disability support and will receive services for the rest of his life. You know that we’ve been on that list for six years with no real hope of ever coming off it. And yet, as with the loaves and fishes, you somehow made it enough to include us.
Our parents offered to come to our home and watch our boys so we can take a vacation.
I started going to yoga, and felt you there.
For these miracles, Father, which I need more than I deserve,