Month: May 2014

A Joy and a Chore

br /> That September morning, piles of dirty carpet and crumbling carpet pad overwhelmed my house. The combination of exposed tack strips and little bare feet turned the dreamy event of getting new flooring into kind of a nightmare. As we watched for the bus and I kept Jack, my mentally disabled nine-year-old, from menacing the tools littering the floor,…

The ’80’s called. They Want Their Denim Back

There seems to be a magical age for women when we suddenly stop buying into every fashion trend that rolls down the pike. We can still be fashionable. On trend. Sort-of stylish even. But perhaps not always fashion-forward necessarily. I have apparently hit this auspicious age. The reason I know this: I refuse to wear acid-washed jeans. High-waisted acid-washed jeans…

Deep Thoughts

A) I ate coconut curry and teriyaki steak with Dutch before seeing a most excellent British period film called Belle. The hubs is rad for taking me to see my movie choice instead of X-Men, his movie choice. Also, Tom Wilkinson’s character was rad. Also, I cried during the trailer for The Fault in Our Stars, which looks true to…

Project Be

I’m starting a new project. It isn’t a health challenge and I’m not refinishing any furniture. If you just said to yourself, “Boring!” feel free to stop reading at this point. I give you my blessing to go blend yourself a nice green smoothie. Or distress a robin’s-egg blue dresser. Enjoy. This project is something I need to do. I…

Summer is Coming

Summer is coming. Creepy meme cat says it, so it must be so. Creepy meme cat, incidentally, isn’t as creepy as my two-year-old who recently pointed into the empty kitchen and asked, “Who’s that?” Stop freaking me out, little curly-headed dude! I digress. Unlike every May in recent memory, I feel no dread about summer coming. I feel a calm…

Map of Jack

Jack’s birthday is winding to a close. I always feel like a fraud of a mom when people ask me what we are doing to celebrate and I say, “Eating Hostess cupcakes and handing the birthday boy a new vacuum.” It’s not Pinteresty. It’s effectively the anti-Instagrammed child’s birthday party. It doesn’t look pretty, yet it’s all the stuff he…

When Did I Turn 100 Years Old?

Something creeped up the drain in the sink of the half-bath by the kitchen this week. I peered tentatively into the drain pipe, which should’ve been dark and empty, but which was instead teeming with milky, glistening bean sprouts. Jack, it seems, planted the beans from a school art project into the drain, atop the five mechanical pencils he shoehorned…

A Better Way to Mother’s Day

Because Mother’s Day has been fraught with difficult emotions for me for a solid decade, I tend to dread it. Today went pretty well though, all things considered. I didn’t feel my chest imploding and my eyes weeping when the Primary children sang to the congregation in Sacrament Meeting. My two primary-aged boys were a) at home with a respite…

Honey Badger Don’t Care

On a recent outing to the zoo with my two littlest boys, I came to a realization. Actually a couple of realizations. Because Jackety Jackerbottoms was not with us, our outing did not require my laser-like attention focused on one strapping redhead. We meandered. We dawdled. We lazily ate lunch in the shadow of the whirling carousel. I people-watched. When…

Lessons from Paradise

It’s been a week since our dreamboat vacation ended. The return to normalcy is never pleasant, and this transition has featured a cargo load of shiz. Thanks, real life! *Sigh* I’m inclined to revisit the happy holiday, so: Lessons I learned in Paradise 1. Google Maps does not shout “You missed the turn!” when you miss the turn. That electronic…