A Better Way to Mother’s Day

Because Mother’s Day has been fraught with difficult emotions for me for a solid decade, I tend to dread it. Today went pretty well though, all things considered.

I didn’t feel my chest imploding and my eyes weeping when the Primary children sang to the congregation in Sacrament Meeting.

My two primary-aged boys were a) at home with a respite sitter (yes, this is a new, fabulous thing) and b) hiding facedown on my lap, too fearful of being in front of a crowd to join in the tribute to moms.

This time I didn’t see the children’s medley as something we will never be able to participate in, something beyond our reach. I saw it as something separate that other kids do. It was sweet to watch and totally outside our sphere. It had no negative effect on me.

It’s true that I am beyond blessed to have children. It is also true that raising the children I have is the challenge of my life.

Thinking about my daunting, endless task as the mom of kids with disabilities makes me tired and crabby. Hence, my general dislike of a day devoted to pondering motherhood.

But today was better. Instead of mulling my ongoing difficulties as a mom, I decided to think about Shirley and Joyce, my mom and MIL respectively. Instead of feeling underwater in the parenting department, I felt appreciative of the women who brought Dutch and I into the world.

I transposed all my Mother’s Day angst into reflection on my mothers. It was infinitely better.

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Here Little Dutch grabs at Joyce’s mortarboard at her PhD hooding. Circa 1976. I heart Joyce’s cool hairdo.

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Shirley, in her bridal finery. She made that wedding dress. Also, she had ombré hair before it was even cool, which makes her avant garde. July 1969.

  1 comment for “A Better Way to Mother’s Day

  1. Jen
    May 12, 2014 at 12:02 am

    Today while the Primary children sang I had no emotion. For the first time EVER! Know why? I don’t have kids that age and I’m not comparing my crying, anxious kid who refuses to get up and sing with the other seemingly “normal” kids. I congratulate you for finding this place now, while your boys are still young. You are a phenomenal mom (I know–I read your blog!) and it’s such an honor to read your perspective and know your heart.

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