Lessons from Paradise


It’s been a week since our dreamboat vacation ended. The return to normalcy is never pleasant, and this transition has featured a cargo load of shiz. Thanks, real life!


I’m inclined to revisit the happy holiday, so:

Lessons I learned in Paradise

1. Google Maps does not shout “You missed the turn!” when you miss the turn. That electronic female voice, with her bland butchery of Hawaiian street names, doesn’t demand “What are you doing!?” when you go the wrong way. She just silently gives you new directions to Makapu’u Point. Rock on, Google Maps Girl.

2. Dutch doesn’t yell either. One of the many reasons he’s a great catch.

3. Poor navigating (mine, not Google Maps Girl’s) can make a one-hour drive to the other end of the island into a nearly two-hour drive, with a pointless detour through Honolulu, where lots of cars are going nowhere fast. Poor navigating = poor, disgraced navigatress.

4. Hiking along the Southeastern tip of Oahu may include rain coming at you sideways from the ocean. Like totally sideways. Like rain-filling-up-your-ear-that-is-nearest-the-cliff-and-the-sea-sideways. It’s true.

5. Getting drenched on a hike to an island lighthouse isn’t an entirely awful thing, anyway. Because, Hawaii.

6. Exercise is easy when your days consist of a) walking to the beach, b) swimming in the ocean, c) hiking to waterfalls and sea cliffs, and d) swimming in the pool. And when your kids are 2500 miles away.

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