Soda-Licious

I should self-impose a moratorium on blogging during the first week of summer. I need to remember this in the future (unlikely, since my brain is not so reliable in the memory department anymore).

I believe I should abstain from posting during this time frame because the transition from school year to summer break takes some getting used to. It takes finesse, in which I am apparently deficient.

The boys are adjusting. They have gone from crazed nocturnal people to zombies trudging around the house and then back to their usual selves once forced to eat a nightly melatonin Oreo under duress. Special cookie = adequate sleep.

My last post leaned toward the whiny side, regretfully. I wrote it during the Awful First Week. It’s a week that can’t be trusted. Or, rather, a week during which I can’t be trusted.

I can, however, be trusted to drive my children hither and yon, morning and afternoon, to camps and such.

I can be trusted to clean 32 ounces of sloshy, sticky Sprite from the cup-holders and seats in the back of the van after Jack disposed of someone’s abandoned McDonald’s drink in an aggressively sensory fashion.

I can be trusted to impose a nap schedule on the toddler, who is beginning to suspect that naps are for nerds, which they totally aren’t. Or maybe they are. Who cares about nerdiness if one is getting regular naps in, right guys?

I can’t be trusted to keep Jack from pouring Coke into the top of the whirring AC unit, resulting in some elegant splattering of high fructose corn syrup onto the house and the fence, making a sort of abstract art piece in caramel coloring.

We are totes having soda issues this summer.

There are simply limits to what one woman can do. Give her a week to adjust. Give her a giant bag of those Brookside Dark Chocolate Blueberry Acai bits of heaven. Give her a Dirty Diet Coke and don’t give Jack access to it. Give her a pass on flipping out about things for a few days as we settle into summertime and figure things out.

  5 comments for “Soda-Licious

  1. Julie
    June 5, 2014 at 7:51 pm

    But please don’t moratorium-ize *any* of your writing, no matter what week of the year it is. Because your post last week was some exceptionally fine writing and it totally hit home with me. And made me feel like there’s a place I belong on this earth–even if it is in stolen moments on the computer, stalking other people’s blogs, finding solace in their similar circumstances.

  2. June 5, 2014 at 10:26 pm

    These melatonin oreos of which you speak sound pretty delicious… Like an excellent shake combination.

  3. Jen
    June 8, 2014 at 4:33 pm

    The first week of summer is a freebie. And maybe the second week, too. Here’s to a rhythmic schedule that works for everyone! Love you!

  4. Sarah
    June 9, 2014 at 3:04 pm

    Ooh, I must not keep those dark chocolate pomegranate things in the house. I lack the “Self Control.”

  5. Caitlin
    June 16, 2014 at 6:09 am

    Dude. I totally feel you. First week of summer with SN kids are the worst. Also, it might be the whole summer, at least it is at our house. Just had a friend recommend your blog an I’m so glad she did! Finally, someone who shares poo stories freely and openly! I can’t wait to read through more of your archives in between my daughter’s excrement disaster clean ups. We had a similar experience to your Fiber One drama, except ours was Actvia yogurt. Also, I fed it to her so you’re already smarter than I be.

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