This Post is TMI, Guys

If anyone out there has been wondering where all the poo stories have gone on this blog, you can sit up and cease your wondering.

Jack has spent the first ten days of summer dropping cow patties all over the kitchen, bathtub, bedroom floor, and backyard.

Not to be the grossest blogger who ever lived, but seriously, my house is dotted with giant wet cow pies.

While cleaning up the Code Brown in the kitchen last week, I inadvertently stepped in a secondary patty.

A mom tantrum ensued. I kicked off my right flip flop and cussed. My sailor-speak was the better alternative to karate chopping the offending child.

Henry, the twelve-year-old who gives me a lecture every time I utter a swear, let my cluster cuss slide. He just knew.

That was just one of several super nasty episodes.

I adjusted Jack’s meds, as I’ve been instructed to do in such cases. Finally I called the nurse line at the pediatric gastroenterologist’s office. By the time they called me back, Dutch and I had made an interesting discovery:

Jack has been covertly inhaling the lemon Fiber One bars in the food storage room. Sometimes, we think, up to six a day. Jack essentially gave himself a lemony enema.

Sometimes I am the dumbest parent in the Northern Hemisphere. Just really, really too strung out on the raising of the boys to realize from whence the problems originate.

It’s the fiber cookies, yo.

  5 comments for “This Post is TMI, Guys

  1. Amy Stewart
    June 11, 2014 at 8:53 am

    Lemony enema! Oh, you’re the best. I’m sorry about all the crap, but really, thanks for writing that.

  2. Laura
    June 11, 2014 at 2:04 pm

    Oh man, too funny. Those are the moments cuss words are for!

  3. June 11, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    Okay, I can’t even begin to imagine cleaning up excessive cow pies in my own home and from my own child, but I laughed and laughed at the lemony enema. My coworkers looked at me funny because why was I laughing at work?

  4. Lacey
    June 12, 2014 at 12:10 am

    I just left a cowpie in my pants because I laughed so hard at this. Lemony enema

  5. Jen
    June 20, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    You’ll forgive me–I know it was infuriating….but I’m actually laughing out loud!

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