Accepting the Disability 2.0

Since I last posted, I have been thinking a great deal about acceptance. I’ve been wondering if I have fully accepted Charlie’s diagnoses in the year since it all hit the fan and everything became twice as hard.

It’s been such a struggle to cope with an entirely different set of behavior issues from Jack’s. My patience feels like it has been stretched so thin that it’s transparent.

I have asked myself if because it is still so hard, perhaps I haven’t finished accepting it. If I’ve fully accepted it, I’ve wondered, wouldn’t things just wash over me with a calm, bland understanding of “this is how it is now”? I don’t really know the answer, but I’m beginning to suspect that acceptance doesn’t mean it’s easier. It just means you’ve acknowledged it and recognize it for what it is.

Acceptance is facing it every day and not lying to yourself about it. It’s starkly understanding that it’s a real part of your child. It’s not constantly shaking your fist at God or the universe about it.

But I don’t believe that acceptance suddenly makes it easier. Accepting the disability means pulling up a chair at the table for all the issues that make life infinitely harder. It’s realizing that everything is different, more challenging.

It doesn’t mean I always have to like it.

It does mean I see reality and do not try to sugar coat it.

  2 comments for “Accepting the Disability 2.0

  1. Mary
    August 3, 2014 at 10:11 pm

    I go through cycles. I find myself accepting things for a while, but then something happens and I am suddenly shaking my fist at God again. So, for me at least, acceptance is not a single destination to reach. It is something that must be reached for time and time again. Maybe one day the cycle will stop, but I fear that it may not.

  2. Kerri
    August 5, 2014 at 6:01 pm

    I don’t always feel like I’ve accepted my lot fully. I accept it, then I mourn it, then I accept it again.

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