Month: January 2015

Observations

1. When Jack has honest to goodness diarrhea, I want the earth to rend beneath my feet and swallow us up in a giant crevasse. Death by chasm has got to be easier than cleaning up liquid poo splatters off the kitchen walls, baseboards, and floor. 2. Since my iPad is out of commission, I’ve been using a desktop computer.…

Ship of Fools, Car of Idiots

My webmaster, Dutch, and I were discussing ye olde blog last night. He’s a good sounding board, but I can’t watch him read my posts. It’s too painful. He will silently read through something that I personally found hilarious, then look up at me and deadpan, “It’s funny.” Nerd that I am, I make myself laugh out loud all the…

Things Charlie Wants to Know

A) Why does Jesus live in outer space? B) How many weeks does it take to get to the North Pole? C) Are there toys in heaven? D) How many years does it take to get to the wars that are far away in the arctic? E) Why does Jacky attack? F) What color are reindeer? G) Does Santa have…

Without January, Could We Really Love June?

Jack is doing better. Things aren’t completely perfect, but they are substantially improved. He is on a new medication, which is helping him stay calmer, cheerier, mellower, happier. He is also sleeping fourteen hours per night, for real. He still gets the angry, crazy face but mostly isn’t attacking people. We still have Code Browns and lakes of urine. We…

The Beautiful Disaster

A friend of mine used to work at the fanciest hotel downtown where, among other things, he saw really big name bloggers come to attend conferences. From my friend, I learned that these bloggers with the carefully curated blogs detailing their charming and beautiful lives are exactly as I mentally expected they might be. They do things like stage photo…

Carry On

I’m going to be really honest. It may sound a little angry, although I truly do not intend it that way. If it makes you uncomfortable, I’m sorry. Now is your chance to back away slowly. Go ahead and close this window and carry on, darlings. We have been in turmoil for the last month, scraping along every day with…

School Bus

This morning, Jack was pretty happy—a pleasant surprise. The second the bus drove up, he raced upstairs on some kind of a mission. He came trucking back down with an armful of vacuum attachments, which I was not about to take away from him lest I incur his wrath. “Okay Jack, sure you can take those attachments to school! Stay…

Movie Theater Butter

On our date this weekend, I noticed that Dutch and I were the youngest couple in the movie theater by quite a bit. It seems to be a trend with us. We go to the cinema with retirees. Maybe this is because we like seeing art films? I don’t know. Art house moviegoers are mostly quiet and respectful of the…

Metamorphosis

Surreal. It’s the best word to describe the past month of my life. Things happened that were just plain surreal and strange. At times I was underwater. Other times, I felt detached from the strange happenings in my life, as though I were standing next to myself, slightly shocked, observing. Wild and weird things happened. Things transpired, like Jack causing…

Slice of Autism Life: Part Two

Once upon a time, I wrote about a typical family night in our home. Here is another installment of the Family Home Evening spectacle, which last night involved: *One three-year-old climbing in and out of a giant cardboard box, trying to close the flaps to shut himself in. *One six-year-old climbing on the shelves, looking for a “book about Jesus,”…