This is how the morning went:
I woke up coughing.
I put Jack in the bath.
I started cooking hash browns and eggs.
Jack pooped in the bath, then got out and sat on the carpeted stairs, sliding down and wiping off his dirty bum.
Henry left to catch the bus.
I administered meds.
Truman screamed at the top of the stairs because he was too scared to walk down past the poop.
Dutch and I cleaned up the Code Brown.
And kept cleaning, because Jack managed to tag so much of the house with this particular BM.
Dutch showered and left to buy doughnuts for Charlie’s class, a belated birthday celebration.
I combed people’s hair much to people’s chagrin.
I packed lunches.
I set backpacks by the door.
I waved to the bus driver in my bathrobe and my red fleece polka-dot socks and felt slovenly.
I showered in roughly 45 seconds and hustled with Truman to Charlie’s school to see an ACTUAL PLAY where Charlie said two ACTUAL LINES.
I held a box of doughnuts while Charlie passed out Halloween napkins (because he likes Halloween stuff) to his class.
I saw this wall in Charlie’s classroom.
I ate a maple doughnut.
I hugged Charlie, who was wearing his birthday crown while working on math problems, and told him I love him and am so proud of him.
And so you can see, Crazy Poo Morning became Lovely Morning.