I Can Do Scary Things

My neighbor has a blossoming homegrown company that makes and sells organic makeup. She asked me to help her with a marketing campaign that defines beauty as being a result of living with purpose. 

Like an idiot, I agreed to do her a favor and be photographed, filmed, interviewed, and embarrassed by pretending to be a makeup model, when I am definitely NOT. 

I thought last night about sharing the resulting video, and I fell asleep with knots in my stomach. 

I lay there with my eyes closed, remembering what my friend Jessica said to me when I told her about this ad campaign that I agreed to do for a friend, but which I wished would NEVER EVER be seen by ANYONE, ANYWHERE EVER in the whole world. I expected a little sympathy, possibly with some nodding in agreement as Jessica, who is also my hair person, did her thing with my hair.

But as she basted my scalp with product, she instead said this, “I think you need to get over it and do it.” 

“And also shut up and stop whining,” she didn’t even need to add, because from her tone, the message was clear. She may as well have snapped me with a wet hand towel while smacking me upside the head. 

“This is what it means to be vulnerable,” she explained. “It means trying something even though it’s scary, because without putting yourself in new, uncomfortable situations where you risk being vulnerable, how will you grow?”

As it was, we had just been having a conversation about Brené Brown’s research, which found that a commonality among healthy, successful, happy people, was a willingness to risk and be vulnerable.

Damn Brené Brown. Also, why is Jessica always right, about hair and everything else?

So I decided to try to get over it and stop wanting to vomit whenever I think about it. 

Curse vulnerability, gah!

Anyhow, here it is. I am that person in the center of the screen doing weird things with my mouth, as though I were thinking about eating the person interviewing me. I wasn’t, by the way, thinking of eating my interviewer. *Sigh*


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