Stream of Consciousness Post. Buckle up.

I’ve turned into one of those people who can’t finish a book because I’m too busy falling asleep. 

I’m only days away from a book club discussion of The Boys in the Boat and my kindle tells me I’m only 24% through. And yet, between kids and appointments and meetings at school and sneaking away to write, I cannot seem to make this happen. 

Thing is, it’s a pretty good book. I’d like to finish it. Do you ever feel like you need a weekend away just to finish even one thing—a book, the latest episodes of Wolf Hall, some sort of project that requires focus and no special needs kids hanging around?

In the time I’ve spent whining about how I’m too busy and too tired to read a book for book club, I could’ve read up to, I don’t know, like 26% through The Boys in the Boat. 

This is so Bridget Jones of me. 

Also, I held back part of the truth earlier. I manage to stay awake and find time to watch Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt often enough. I have no good excuses.

I am tired, though. For real.

Last night I fell asleep ubër early and dreamed that I was in a large open room in a lovely old house with wood moldings everywhere and high ceilings and crystal chandeliers. It was sort of von Trapp family ballroom-ish. 

I was there with people I seemed to know, although I can’t think now who they were. A couple of them opened a large double door and let a polar bear into the room. 

I immediately freaked out, darting around looking for an escape from the wild animal in the room. Everyone else acted like I was overreacting. 

“It’s just a little one,” they said. “He won’t hurt you.”

I did not believe them. And though they were treating it as a pet, playing with it in the von Trapp family room/ballroom, I still wanted to get the heck away from it.

They had put a collar and a giant flowered lei on the pet polar bear. And they thought I was the crazy one.

I told Dutch about my dream today and he said, “I’m not making this up, but around 12:30 last night, you started thrashing around and said, “‘Polar Bear.’ I had to talk you down, tell you there were no polar bears anywhere. I’m serious.”

And so am I. I need sleep. And I need to lay off the Kimmy Schmidt/Wolf Hall episodes until I finish my book.

  3 comments for “Stream of Consciousness Post. Buckle up.

  1. Molly
    May 1, 2015 at 9:15 am

    Just found your blog a couple of weeks ago and I am in love. I also have 4 boys (5th boy due in 4 weeks) one with Autism and one with ADHD. You are just the perfect voice for me right now, just the therapy I need to get through each day. Thank you!

  2. Sarah
    May 2, 2015 at 5:03 pm

    Sleep is good. Kimmy Schmidt is good. So is reading books, and your stream of consciousness.

  3. Jennifer
    May 10, 2015 at 3:07 pm

    I’m a Kimmy addict. I binge watched the whole thing in a few days. Why is it that the things that seem big and scary to us are clearly not big and scary to other people? Polar bears and finishing books–daunting stuff. Truly.

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