How to go to the cabin, in three easy steps

1. Know where the McDonald’s locations are en route. This is because, by necessity and autism, going to the country for us involves fast food. And next time, order 60 chicken nuggets instead of 40 because the guys INHALED those things and were still hungry. Also, I hate McDonald’s. Except for their Cokes.

2. Enjoy the scenery. Enjoy the greenery. Sit on the back porch and listen to the river. Watch for the Sandhill cranes. Listen to Jack vacuuming in the kitchen. Pile the kids in the Mule for a ride through the fields and around the pond. Have a campfire and roast meat on sticks for dinner. Watch Baby play trains. Play in the barn. Look around and enjoy it because it’s lush and rich, an embarrassment of riches after this wet spring. But it won’t stay that way. So remember it verdant. 

3. Don’t let Jack eat any of that giant package of black licorice that he found somewhere and was wolfing down on the porch. And don’t let him eat any of the Red Vines Charlie had in the car, for Pete’s sake. DON’T DO IT. Licorice in any form acts as an enema for Jack. Just know that when we all get home from the cabin, Jack will transform the HOUSE AND BACKYARD into POOTOWN. And it will happen right when the home teachers swing by to check in on how you’re doing. Which you will answer with an abbreviated explanation and a refusal to shake their hands, as you are currently undertaking a HAZMAT operation. Which they can undoubtedly smell from the porch where you stand and talk.

There it is.


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