There was an LDS General Conference talk last October that people are referencing like crazy, including me, apparently. The message was that if you pray and ask what you specifically should do to change, improve, and feel peace, the spirit will tell you.
So I tried it, because I’m always looking for a hefty dose of peaceful.
This is what happened:
- I felt nervous. What horribly prickly thing was God going to ask me to do? Because when you ask sincerely, you’d better be ready to follow through and do that thing, yo. And it might be wildly difficult (see: my life).
- I didn’t get an answer. Really. I just didn’t. Nothing.
Until..many weeks later. Like, months later. I went to church and felt how I usually feel on Sundays, which is wrung out, jaded, and desperate.
Sundays are rigorous and predictably painful because special needs kids and church/Sabbath day expectations/lack of structure/quiet activities/etc. don’t mix well. But that’s old news.
During sacrament meeting, I broke up a fight between Charlie and Truman over coloring books (for real) and immediately after settling the scuffle, God said this to me:
“Take care of Jack and be glad.”
He answered me and it was pretty darn clear so, naturally, I pondered.
I came away with a sense that God doesn’t want me to add on other hard things in addition to raising Jack, or to feel guilty about having little left over to give after taking care of Jack.
Take care of Jack and be glad.
It sounds simple. But God knows this is a hard task He gave me eleven and a half years ago. He gets it. It’s a lot and it’s enough. And He totally knows.
His only new advice was to be glad.
Be glad Jack is growing and changing and mostly happy. Be glad he has red hair and creamy pale skin with freckles. Be glad he makes us laugh and reorders our priorities. Be glad he has brothers who understand him. Be glad for the vibrating foot spa that keeps him occupied with sensory input.
Be glad that life is very, very real with Jack among us.