Month: February 2016

Map Fad

You know those Facebook-profile analyzing things that spread like infectious diseases? You click on some button that takes you to some site, giving them permission to comb through your profile (and keep combing through it into perpetuity). In return they spit out a greatest hits video or an image of Your Most Liked Photo Ever, or The Map of Words You…

A Brief, Ugly Memoir

The past few days have felt like this: Here it is, people—a brief, ugly memoir of our week. Jack got his new Man Therapist, who took him on walks, bowling, swimming, and to the museum. We felt smug and happy that we were helping Jack be active, healthy, and engaged. Yay us! Then the weekend arrived and Jack refused to…

Jack’s Bouncer

Jack has a new ABA therapist, who happens to be a dude. We have wanted a man to work with Jack for some time now, someone who is big and able to deflect hitting and biting. We’ve also needed someone strong enough to restrain Jack if he decides to go ballistic in the car.  We finally found Jack his own…

Forgetfulness

Last month I forgot to go to Jack’s IEP meeting at the school. IEP’s happen once a year and are a pretty big deal. Missing them when you are THE MOM and there are roughly 10 school teachers and support staff there waiting for you is a bad idea. This is Exhibit A. Exhibit B is Charlie’s parent teacher conference…

Disaster Preparedness

When I left home and started my own household almost two decades ago, I noticed that I began to do this thing where I would think about a possible tragic scenario and then think about how I would handle it if it actually happened. Yes, I have anxiety. Someone I knew lost her husband, or baby, or mother? An acquaintance was…

Existentialism for a Friday Afternoon

It’s sunny today, though still smoggy. When inversions trap dirty air low in the valleys, the entire area collectively suffers an emotional beating. The air is disgusting. It presses down on our moods. Mine is being pressed and tested, anyway. Today I sat in a quiet place and thought about things. I thought about how winter is charming for six…

What Kind of Mother are You?

My two youngest children went to the cabin with grandma and grandpa. This is a cause for celebration because I will have seven kid-free hours tomorrow. But more importantly, now we don’t have to prep Valentines. I am aware that that last sentence essentially disqualifies me as a mother. I don’t like the crafty part. I can’t make myself care…

Tiny Jaded Letters

Dear deer, I am weirded out that 17 of you were eating the bushes and trees in my front yard and only my front yard. Why was my house the deer Mecca? Also, tonight marked the first time in my life that I have opened my front door and straight up hissed, sending 17 mule deer running.   Dear February,…

Winter Weekends Are…

A) Spilled cereal on the floor and the counter. Jack eats every marshmallow from the Lucky Charms and tosses the rest around the kitchen. Dross! B) Chocolate smeared on the couch. C) Charlie asking me 1400 times if I think Darth Vader/Kylo Ren/storm troopers/Han Solo/Chewbacca/Yoda are cool, and if so, why. D) Dutch and me hiding in the laundry room…

Winston & Olive

The other day as I was unloading half of Costco from my car, a black dog rounded the corner of the garage as I walked outside, and we practically collided. We both jumped, I squealed, and we looked at each other rather sheepishly. He wasn’t even a big scary black dog. He was old and gentle. He surprised me, that…