Grumpy Dinosaur Hates Carnivals

We took the boys to a family fun night the other day at the park near our house. Because it was free, the entire state and the populations of several surrounding states were there. Lines for each activity averaged 92 minutes. That is simply an estimate, based on how long it felt like each line took.

The evening was hot. Children were bouncing around, literally. They were also whining, obv. My neighbor, Lindsay, was in a line with her kids for a bouncy thing near me and deadpanned, “Living the dream.”

Jack and Junior showed up at one point and Jack cut into the front of a line and darted into a bouncy house before Junior retrieved him. Jack simply does what everyone wishes they could do in this situation.

When I am hot, tired, and trapped in endless lines, something happens to me and, not unlike Bruce Banner’s transformation into the Hulk, I turn into a person who is highly disillusioned by humanity. Carnivals, amusement parks, and “family fun” events trigger something in me.

I turn into a grumpy dinosaur.

I want to roar and swat at things so they will get out of my way. I’d have left that hot, crowded park at an ungainly clip, my spiked tail knocking down small children at a whim.

I am a dinosaur.

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