Month: October 2016

Diving into the Wreck

I had the thought as I walked through the store yesterday with two new books in hand (hardbacks, delectable!) on my way to meet Jeff, who was searching for manly things like padlocks and extension cords and possibly antennae, that I have written a great deal about my life with my children, but is it really my story? You could…

Desert Quietude

It took us weeks of wrangling sitters and organizing schedules, half a day to get out of the house, and a few more hours before we were fully out of town, but we finally did it. Just Jeff and me. First vacation since the North Shore a few years back. I slept half of the drive. Pure luxury, because at…

Unaccountable

A few weeks ago, Junior said he wanted to try bringing Jack to church with us, just for the sacrament portion of sacrament meeting. I said, “Okay,” even as the conflicting emotions of skepticism and hope surged through me. My inner conversation went like this: Me: “I would love for Jack to go to church again. Of course I want…

On Carrying and Being Carried

Sometimes I feel that my life is a very odd, very difficult balance between holding on and letting go—between being organized and structured on the one hand, and being free enough to accept whatever comes my way on the other. How do I hold on? By following routines for the benefit of the people on the autism spectrum. By regimenting…

Charlie is Listening

I am doing a spotty job of reading The Book of Mormon aloud with the boys in the mornings as they eat breakfast. They are awake and eating at separate times, so I’ve started plunking away at 3 Nephi with Henry and 1 Nephi with Charlie. What Charlie understands and what just whooshes through his head and flaps away behind him…

Left Ear, Books Here

Jack’s ear is healing. All it took was fourteen days of goop, drainage, pus, head-butting, shredding, kicking, throwing, window-breaking, wailing, screaming, drywall-smashing sadness. No big deal. And the pediatrician who called and got us into the ENT at the children’s hospital the same day (Day 12), where six of us held Jack down while Dr. P. and his tiny vacuum…

Recovery

Jack’s ear has been infected for nearly two weeks. Actually, it’s been infected for much of the last twelve and a half years, but whatever. This time, it won’t go away. He is likely resistant to the antibiotics, probably because he’s had to take them 25,000 times. So we are onto ear drops and possibly having it cleaned out under sedation. *big…

Trust the Process

Recently the school nurse called me twice in one day to tell me that Jack was hitting his head against things intentionally. I gave permission to for him to have ibuprofen the first time, and Tylenol the second. That took care of any headache caused by the hitting, but what about the cause of behavior in the first place? Was it frustration? Did…

Through a Broken Glass, Darkly

Jack broke the window in his bedroom this weekend. Which begs the question (in my mind, anyway), does this form of confessional prose get old to whoever is reading my stuff? It’s rather formulaic, I KNOW. Something crazy happens and I write about it. I deconstruct it and generally come to some sense of…I don’t know. Completion, about the whole…