Month: November 2016

Day in the life

It has snowed off and on throughout the day. I swept the floor. The boys went back to school following the break. I talked to Jack’s support coordinator. I did the paperwork for Jack’s new respite people. I prepped my ENGL 1010 lesson. I responded to email. I made my bed. I did laundry. I finished baking the peanut butter…

Dream Writing: Psychiatric Stay

Early this morning I dreamt I had just woken from a deep drug-induced sleep in a psychiatric hospital. I had been admitted for reasons unknown to me. From what people were telling me, I gathered I’d had a mental breakdown. A woman helped me dress and gather my things. Someone had dropped off a pair of vibrant green Toms for me…

Thanksgiving Eve

This morning Jeff drove a truckload of crap to the dump. The basement no longer has the couch that Jack broke, nor the giant beanbags, one of which Jack tore open, spilling 6 million foam bits all over the garage, driveway, and front yard. As he was driving, Jeff noticed a plume of said bits billowing behind him. People on…

Ode to my Firstborn

Fifteen years ago, I was nearing the end of my first pregnancy. People at church were prone to tell me, ruefully, that my life was about to change forever. “I know!” I would stupidly chirp, even though I had no actual clue what lay ahead. Motherhood, I figured, was utterly universal. Women through all generations of time were mothers. Babies…

I Need a Crown

Jack has recovered from yet another strep infection. The difference between Healthy Jack and Sick Jack is the difference between a train humming down the track, and a smoking pile of mangled rail cars, mixed with bloodied carcasses of cattle. Healthy Jack is goofy, giggly, amiable. Sick Jack breaks things, shreds things, hits people. Sick Jack means calling all ships, all…

Wellspring

Several close friends have confided in me in recent months, all saying something like this, “I am in the deepest pit of my life and God is completely silent.” These friends have widely differing roadblocks causing various sorts of havoc in their lives. They’ve told me they believe that God is there, but it’s as though there is a wall between…

Weighted Cloak

Jeff and I have returned from our desert oasis. It has reminded me how I am different from most people, at least the people who post on social media about how there is no place like home, once they are home from vacation. Coming home is downright painful for me. This is sad, but it’s a fact. The closer we got…