Month: January 2017

Times and seasons

*This is the talk I gave at church today. Because I post these things, as one does (when one is me).*   I’m going to talk about mortality. And winter. Jeff has been reminding me, daily, that when it comes to winter, he is over it. Probably because he is the scraper of the walks before the bus shows up in…

A Measure of Healing

Jack has gone from deeply-irritable/house-trashing/angsty-angry to content and exceptionally happy. Just like that, he is so much better. Last Sunday, in desperation, we asked our home teacher, Ray, to help Jeff give him a healing blessing. Healing for what, you might ask? Well we didn’t really know. Healing from anger and violence and destruction. Healing from autism and developmental delay…

Tiny Letters, Tiny Dancer

Dear Cassie, Thank you for teaching Jack to put a clean sheet and blanket on his bed every day. It’s a small job, but I love that it isn’t mine anymore.   Dear my country, Let’s try to love each other a little more, mkay?   Dear everyone everywhere, Special needs parents can feel isolated and not understood. I am currently…

Don’t forget to sing

We’ve had a let’s-just-hold-on-and-try-to-survive kind of a week. It’s been physically painful with lots of restraining of a raging twelve-year-old, and emotionally grueling in a way that’s difficult to describe. I couldn’t get out of bed the other day. I just couldn’t do it. I literally called and cancelled a doctor’s appointment because I could not make my brain propel my…

The Low Place

I wrote that snowy Saturday post that was all hearth fires and loveliness, and I haven’t been able to write a thing since, despite starting several posts. It’s been hard. Jack is not sick. He’s healthy and robust. But he’s time consuming and destructive. He sleeps less than ever before, possibly because he’s twelve and a half years old. He…

Snowy Saturday

Jack is asleep beneath a quilt in the armchair and outside it is snowing. Jeff and I saw La La Land this afternoon and I’m warm and happy and sad, all at the same time. I am one of those people who falls disreputably in love with a musical, no questions asked. Disreputably and desperately. Don’t even talk to me…

Why, and for whom?

My children *might* have entered into a pact to relieve me of my grip on sanity. The naughtiness and the sass-pants attitudes were rampant last night. It wasn’t just one of them acting out at a time. There was far too much overlap. I had to believe it was a conspiracy. I may or may not have stormed around after a…

A meandering post discussing Trash versus Fire

After a perfectly reasonable Christmas holiday and a “typical kid”-centric vacation to a warmer clime for a few days, the rest of the winter break has been utter trash. “Trash” is how my fifteen-year-old describes anything that is annoying, disappointing, or ridiculous. It must be vocalized as though it is painful to even say the word. Trash. The Utes offense in…