Things that Irritate, Things that Replenish

Things that irritate me:

  1. Flowery posts and memes about “My daughter is my best friend,” or “God loves me so he gave me a daughter.” It feels exclusionary, like you’re not a real woman unless you have a daughter to complete you, or God doesn’t actually care about you since, you know, no daughter. Am I overly sensitive that this annoys me? I have sons, and only sons. This doesn’t seem like it should be a strike against me. Like if you can’t shop for dainty, feminine baby clothes, your life is lacking? You will never know true joy? I just don’t buy it. Also, no where is it written that only girl children can fulfill one’s life purpose, though the internet seems to enjoy perpetuating this myth. To be clear, I’m happy that moms love and celebrate their daughters. Now pardon me while I go online and buy one of those #momofboys t-shirts, take a selfie while wearing it, and PASTE my image on social media. It’s my own little resistance. Contrarians have to push back somewhere, somehow.
  2. The parental travail that is Boy Scouts. Ugh. Make it stop. When a boy gets an Eagle, it 90% shows his parents spent WAY TOO MUCH time and energy hounding their son about completing merit badges (and driving him hither and yon to all manner of merit badge classes at 8:00 am on Saturday mornings), 10% that the boy actually cared about it and learned from it. This has been my experience and I am ready to go on a speaking tour around the nation, clarifying these points to prospective scouting parents. Just kidding, I’m going to remind my son for the 87th time that he needs to get out my recipes and create a grocery list so he can earn his cooking merit badge, which he has no interest in doing. Then I’m going to take him to the store and supervise the cooking. We may complete this requirement in three years time, pending attitude problems (his and mine).
  3. Terrorists. For heaven’s sake, does the world not already have enough problems with mental illness and starvation and substance abuse and natural disasters and cancer and illiteracy and dysfunctional families? Now we need to invent tragedy and heartache out of nothing but deranged hate? #NottodaySatan. I rebuke you. You will rue the day. I will love my neighbors and my family and people who voted opposite of my beliefs and people who worship differently or who don’t worship at all.
  4. That Jack has no regard for the sanctity of hand soap. We can’t keep it in the house. His favorite pastime is opening a new bottle and pouring it down the drain, and then repeating this throughout the house. It’s irrational how infuriating this is to me. WE JUST WANT TO WASH OUR HANDS, JACK. The end.
  5. When people go online with lengthy posts about how annoying something is. Oh wait…

Things that Replenish Me:

  1. Writing.
  2. Writing Group Thing.
  3. Working out. I became one of those people.
  4. Seeing my children grow and learn.
  5. Movie dates with Jeff.
  6. Praying in my car while watching birds fly in formation from the fields into the sky, against the backdrop of the mountains.
  7. Books.
  8. Bedtime, and a clean kitchen.
  9. Teaching.
  10. Achieving an occasional deep-seated sense of rightness, of peace, of equilibrium with myself and my outer life.

  6 comments for “Things that Irritate, Things that Replenish

  1. Christina
    March 24, 2017 at 7:12 am

    You and I need to be best friends. Your hand soap is our towels. “Never trust a towel on the floor” is our motto. This means I do at least two washloads of towels a day. I am slowly coming to peace with this.

  2. Shana
    March 24, 2017 at 9:45 am

    I have 2 sons. When we were expecting our 3rd child, everyone kept saying, ” I bet you’re hoping for a girl this time!” No one believed me when I said I’d be thrilled with another boy, but it was true. Well, we had our girl, and we were thrilled to have her, as well- any healthy newborn is a precious gift. I went nuts with the pink, the lace, the bows, the florals, the dresses, the Mary Janes… except the joke was on me! God gave me a little girl just like me! She hated to comb her hair, she refused to wear dresses, and she cried when she had to wear anything with pink or hearts or flowers on it! I had to hide her brother’s clothes when they outgrew them, because she wanted to wear all of their basketball shorts and shirts instead of her own clothes! Now, my tree-climbing, dog-loving, 3 sport playing baby is 18 and ready to graduate. She still prefers athletic clothes ( you don’t even KNOW how much fun we have had with that activewear video and the jingle you posted awhile back!!!), but she cleans up pretty well for a formal dance twice a year. But the DRAMA that surrounds high school girls is insane! Anytime you see those memes about daughters and you feel the slightest bit annoyed, just know that the person posting it is probably trying to overcompensate and convince themselves that life is grand with their daughter because they are most likely drowning in teenage girl drama! (**disclaimer: we held our daughter back in kindergarten because she was emotionally immature- she is now quite old for her class, and handles the drama much better than most of her peers.)
    Also, in light of Jack’s new obsession, I think you should add to your list of things that replenish you:
    11. Washing my hands. With soap.

    Loving your blog, as always!

  3. March 26, 2017 at 4:06 pm

    On my list of things that replenish me:
    Your writing

  4. Jennifer
    March 26, 2017 at 6:58 pm

    I wish we had a culture of inclusion when it comes to ANY parenting topic. We wave our childbearing and gender flags all over the place without thinking. I doubt this will ever change. My grandma had all boys and the result: she left an amazing legacy. And so are you!
    AMEN to your scouting woes! We told our son that if he wants an Eagle he needs to want it and do it himself. The result: he will not get his Eagle. Ever. Plus also–scouting is not inclusive. I know they think they are, but they aren’t.

    Hooray for your blog in my life!

  5. Molly
    March 27, 2017 at 11:07 am

    I have five boys. One time a guy in my ward actually said over the pulpit that his wife that had three boys finally had their fourth, a girl,because heavenly Father considered her righteous enough. Yikes. Talk about finding my happy place. And scouting, don’t get me started!!! This post was the best!! With two boys on the spectrum I don’t see any eagles in our future. Because I don’t have the time or energy.

  6. Blue
    March 28, 2017 at 4:35 pm

    you know what i love? discovering that i somehow missed a megan post, so i get to bingeread a bit. it’s like when you find a $20 in a pocket on something you haven’t worn forever…somehow it’s so exciting and wonderful (okay, maybe me getting excited about $20 is more telling about my finances than i would prefer, but there it is. substitute a benny if that works for you).

    i have a girl and a boy, and i try not to be That Mom that you described…but i have to say that my daughter is seriously the reason i hung in there through the depressionyears….somehow we stayed close and connected all the way through, and we really are best of friends. I hadn’t ever seen Gilmore Girls til the past month or two, when I binged it on Netflix, and it was almost painful because Lorelai and Rory reminded me so much of how she and I were together; made me miss her terribly. my boy and i were also very close once upon a time, and i’ve had the impression that one day he’ll “come back”, but for a while now he’s been an ungrateful, unthankful, entitled, demanding, self-centered, selfish, myopic jerk to me. and it makes me miss my missionary girl all the more. but most of all i miss the boy that i can’t not love. my heart breaks a hundred times a day most days…man i love that beautiful boy-jerk i birthed! he may not destroy property, but he’s my own learning opportunity every day.

    Excuse me now while i go pick an eagle project…i only have 4 months to finish it before the window for him to get an eagle closes forever. #ihatescoutingsomuch #mainlycauseitsonlyforboysinthechurch #whynogirlscouts? #myattitudedidntimprovebyservingasdenmom

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