Despite the absolute rightness I felt as we learned about Jack’s temporary placement, the doubts have begun to creep in. I feel like this is how the craptastic Father of Lies retaliates to undeniable, peaceful spiritual promptings. It’s like his only weapon is doubt, so he obnoxiously overuses it.
I feel extreme sadness counting down the last days when all my children will live in the same house.
I have anxiety about the people who will be caring for Jack. Will they treat him well and know how to meet his myriad sensory needs?
I feel desolate thinking of how Jack might feel when we drop him off and leave without him. How will he react when we visit him and then leave him there when it’s time to go?
Oh, and are we doing the right thing?
Jeff and I both felt the Spirit confirm the rightness of this decision. But the difficult reality is now hitting us in the face, the gut, and the feels.
I read from 2 Nephi this morning, where it says that if we feast upon the words of Christ, they “will tell you all things what ye should do.”
Yes. I thought, when I heard this. I’ve been reading the scriptures and searching for insights throughout this process. Jesus has given us what we have needed, which is direction with how to care for Jack. Chapter 32 continues, “if ye will enter in by the way, and receive the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things what ye should do.”
Jesus Christ, through the Holy Spirit, will tell and show me everything I should do. This is why I need Him, you guys. I need Him to tell and show me everything I should do. Jack’s life is far too important for me to stumble around blindly, driven by my own inadequate ideas.
This vital reminder—that if you study His life and beseech Him then He will lead you to the answers—adequately bandaged up my weeping emotional sores. My Savior has been guiding this process. If there is any consolation that Jack will be okay, it is knowing that Jesus is leading us to the right thing. I have felt the Spirit telling me what to do, and infusing me with calm and peace.
How do you overcome doubt and fear? According to the prophet, you study the words of the Savior because this invites the Spirit into your life. It’s a pretty straightforward formula, and I totes know because I have been testing it in a pilot program known as my weird, disabilities-overhauled life.