Month: September 2017

Doubt, Perspective, Belief

Yesterday I had the kind of day where stress coiled my right shoulder and neck into a tight, angry thing. I couldn’t sleep well. I was tired and burdened. It was just a lot to internalize. I’m not being specific, but it was the kind of day that makes me say, “Oh hey, world. I really love you, but wow,…

Love Was the Theme

I drove home through the rain from the General Women’s Session of LDS General Conference tonight. It’s cold here, suddenly. Fall showed up promptly on the autumnal equinox. I didn’t want to go to the church and make chit chat during the dinner. I wanted to sit home and watch the broadcast on my couch, surrounded by boy children. Every…

The Rigidity of Autism

I’m sitting in an armchair in front of a big picture window with a pastoral parkland view in the foreground and mountains in the background. I’m at a library which is near the autism center where my boys have therapy. They’ve had a two-month behavior therapy hiatus because of some issues, but we are back at it tonight. And I…

Bite-Sized Book Reviews

Sometimes I post about what I am reading. Today is one of those days. A couple of disclaimers about these reviews: A) They don’t necessarily summarize the book. B) I’m no longer an English major being made to read things. I read what I want. Sometimes it’s YA. Sometimes it’s literary. Sometimes it’s chick lit. The end. C) Because I…

Creativity is Delicate

I listen to classical music when I drive. This might make me seem like an elderly woman, to which I say, “Works for me. I like old ladies.” My station of choice is Symphony Hall (channel 76) on Sirius XM satellite radio. I like it because, in addition to beautiful music, they have smart commentary that teaches me a whole…

There Was No Other Way

We visited Jack today, which was A) Productive B) Sweet C) Happy D) Fulfilling E) Bittersweet (because I had to leave him again) F) Emotional (see above) Since returning home, I have said out loud, multiple times, “If there were any other way, I would have done it,” to which Jeff unironically said, “There was no other way.” I would…

Lend Me Power

The three and a half months since Jack’s placement in his group home have been a period of mourning, adjusting, and accepting. I keep comparing my grief to a body of water in which I am floating. That’s what it feels like. I’m adrift and disconnected from the worldly things which tend to weigh us down. I’m just floating. Except…