Creativity is Delicate

I listen to classical music when I drive.

This might make me seem like an elderly woman, to which I say, “Works for me. I like old ladies.” My station of choice is Symphony Hall (channel 76) on Sirius XM satellite radio. I like it because, in addition to beautiful music, they have smart commentary that teaches me a whole lot about the music and the composers. Also, there are no commercials, huzzah. And it does more for me than basically all other music (which I still like, a lot). It fixes my brain. I don’t know how, but it does.

Last week, one of the DJ’s spoke about an obscure (to me) composer who, he said, “went dark,” for a period of about three years during his prime composing age because “he was silenced by depression.”

This went straight to my heart. I understood that composer, whose name I can’t even remember.

Creativity is a delicate thing.

It operates at the mercy of factors that seem to change with the wind, the seasons, and all sorts of shifting circumstances. When my 24/7 life featured me running ragged for Jack’s care, I wrote prolifically and continuously. Now, I have more time and room to think, and I simply don’t care to write.

Just now I started to type, “it means nothing to me,” but I couldn’t. Clearly, writing still means something to me, but it means something different.

I suppose the things I have to say feel more private, less funny, less like “the old blog,” darker, and definitely more monotonous. I couldn’t care less about publication or numbers of hits as charted by Google Analytics. If blogging is a conversation with readers, I am not holding up my end of it.

Blogs are dead, or so I hear, though I have been defiantly blogging regularly the last 5.5 years in spite of the so-called death of the blog. Are they dead because nobody reads them anymore? I’m the wrong person to discuss this topic, because I obviously do what I want in the online pontificating sphere, regardless of internet trends. We can probably agree that it’s all about Instagram now, which I have no problem with. You can say everything you need in a lengthy (or brief) Instagram caption, and there’s a photo, and it’s all right there in ye olde news feed.

Or maybe blogs are dead because bloggers are tired of blogging.

Who’s to say?

Anyway, the fact remains that I have less to say now, and it isn’t lighthearted or even particularly enlightening.

  3 comments for “Creativity is Delicate

  1. Julie536
    September 11, 2017 at 9:34 pm

    Please don’t stop!

  2. allysha
    September 14, 2017 at 10:45 am

    Creativity is delicate for sure. Even with less to say, I hope you still say it. Sometimes what we need is not the light-hearted, and I think that enlightenment for the reader often happens beyond the intent of the writer. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, insights and life through your words. It has helped me more than you can know.

  3. Catherine
    September 15, 2017 at 3:44 pm

    I hope you continue to write here. I discovered your blog through This Little Miggy. I spent a weekend reading from the beginning and continue to check here frequently. I am a twice divorced lapsed (obvs) Catholic who has only had fur babies, but the chronicling of your faith has MOVED me. Your strength/wisdom/goodness inspire me.

    And I hope this isn’t TOO weird, but after reading about your “code browns”, I stopped grumbling about cleaning out the litter box and instead started lifting you up in prayer during those few minutes twice a day.

    I wish you peace & joy whatever you decide. Thank you for sharing all you have.

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