I’m not reliably present here on this blog, which is simply the way it is right now.
My life has changed a great deal in the last year. While I once wrote multiple times a week about the rigors of raising Jack, the goings-on in my world are slower-paced now. Subtler. Stories and the subsequent lessons revealed by those stories aren’t whooshing past me, waiting to be snatched up and expounded on.
Reader, I’m no longer in perpetual crisis mode. This is good, because one can’t sustain crisis living indefinitely. It’s different in that I live a pretty regular life now. Not that being regular is bad. It’s just quieter and less apt to throw handfuls of insights wrought by suffering into one’s daily experience.
It’s funny that I used to long to be a “normal” family. We are much more typical now, though because of Jack, we will always be a little bit special, I guess. And I’m at a crossroads where I’m figuring out what to do with myself. I’m not teaching this summer, but I have a few plans in the works for occupying my mind and my time, in addition to raising ye olde children.
Meanwhile, dear Reader:
Jack is doing really well in his new home. He got a new hose and a sprayer, and is living his best life watering the backyard. He got a haircut this week and looks grown-up and handsome. He continues to have behaviors relating to food, which I suspect may never change. Or at least not until he’s past his teen years. But his caregivers are adept at handling him. The environment is perfect, and the staff are exactly what Jack needs.
And finally, I gave up soda ten days ago.
Your prayers, dear Reader, are appreciated in this difficult time.
It wasn’t something I wanted to do (because I freaking LOVE soda), but was something I was unequivocally inspired to do. Aaaand my back pain has drastically decreased. It’s not entirely gone, but almost.
The whole process of restoring my back to health has been an exercise in listening. And humility.
I’ve listened to the physical therapist and followed his recommendations perfectly, because I am nothing if not an excellent student.
I listened to the Holy Spirit prompting me to address the menstrual cycle component.
I listened to the prompting to give up my beloved, my precious, my sweet, sweet nectar–soda.
By following the bits of inspiration available to me, I’ve received, a piece at a time, answers to my pain question.
I still need to exercise and stretch my back in perpetuity. I may always have an undercurrent of tension and discomfort on the lower right side. But I feel that the pain isn’t controlling me anymore. I have enough strength and the right tools to address and manage it.
It’s really something how being quiet yields answers. My experience has shown me that inspiration requires a conscientious openness: to listening and receiving and following and doing.
Reader, if this post has a point, I suppose it is that so many things are possible, when one decides to abandon hubris and instead seek a divine presence–a divine will–about something specific in one’s life.
And that’s my smattering of thoughts for a Wednesday afternoon.